The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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