i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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