I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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