if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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