I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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