Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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