Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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