You smell like a Billy Joel song
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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