he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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