good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize