i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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