i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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