I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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