My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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