So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
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You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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