I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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