is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize