all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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