Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like Iβm back in college studying for finals.
Randomize