You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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