She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
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Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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