I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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