I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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