Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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