Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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