i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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