you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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