can we get nightvision for the apartment?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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