see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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