hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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