guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
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If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
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Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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