Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize