My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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