First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize