They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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