You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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