You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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