Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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