Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize