shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
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