Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize