y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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