I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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