Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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