He uses pillows to masturbate.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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