i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You were trust falling into bushes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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