Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize