new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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