the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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