We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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